Posts Tagged ‘funny’

Duct Tape Can’t Mend a Broken Heart. But It Can Keep a Diaper On.

Success!I was thinking today about how relatively simple most of the problems we solve for the girls are. Sure, there’s four of them, and that can be a bit overwhelming sometimes, especially if they all need something at once or the schedule gets even slightly out of whack. But our biggest issues are spills and boo-boos and forgetting to go potty. Having worked with teenagers for a decade or so, I have a slight inkling of what’s to come – hurt feelings, broken hearts, relationships, cliques, drama, drama, drama, and so forth. Note that I did not say I know everything that’s coming. I am quite sure I have no clue what a tunnel of fire four girls in high school at the same time – all under one roof, all with strong personalities – will be like. I shudder to think. So while today’s trials have their own weight, it’s important to keep perspective and enjoy these days when they are willing to be seen in public with Daddy and believe that he is strong and can fix anything. And to enjoy problems that can be solved with a little patience, strong disinfectant, and the handyman’s helper.

For example: today I had to be reminded that some toddlers need their diapers duct-taped at nap time.

Most parents reading that sentence will chuckle. Most of us have been there. I have been there. So really I have no excuses and deserve no sympathy. I should have seen the tell-tale signs: Maya was increasingly more undressed every time we got her out of bed. Yesterday morning, she greeted me in only a diaper, holding her onesie aloft triumphantly, flashing a big cheesy grin as if to say “Mission Accomplished!” Cute, right? Maybe that’s why I didn’t hear the 50s sci-fi robot in my subconscious trying to warn me: “Danger, Will Robinson! Danger!” But I was to distracted by her adorableness to see the logical conclusion of this pattern of behavior. Only too late did I recall that Arnold Girls love a challenge, and  for Maya there was only one more disrobing mountain to climb.

Only the diaper was left.

You already know what happened. I will spare you the gory details. Let’s just say that she succeeded in getting the diaper off before she went to sleep. Sometime during that nap nature took it’s course. And apparently nature was angry. And Maya awoke. She is an artist at heart, it would seem, and something deep within led her to express her creativity with a display of finger-painting that has led me to nickname her “Poopcaso.”

A shower, and couple loads of laundry, a lot of disinfectant, one toy taken apart, and several rounds of Mom’s special stuffed animal cleansing method later, and we are almost back to normal. As I scrubbed and disassembled, a wave of deja vu swept over me, followed immediately by chagrin: I suddenly remembered I have done this dance before. With the twins. Both of them. We tried a lot of things to solve it. We finally had to go all “Red Green” on ’em: they could not defeat duct tape.

So Maya now has improvised industrial strength diaper closures. If memory serves, the next step is climbing out of the crib. That should be a hoot with this one…

For now, I am thankful for small problems and a big family. And I’m taking some Ginko, cause I’ve really got to try to remember this stuff…