Maya’s Got the Christmas Spirit
Category: General
Maya’s Got the Christmas Spirit
Jon
Nov 28
|19:11
The Theory of Relativity
Jon
Aug 25
|18:33
I never planned or even intended this, but as I look back, it seems many posts here on arnoldgirls.net are based on an academic subject. I see no reason to break with accidental tradition now…
Albert Einstein is famously reported to have explained the Theory of Relativity this way:
“Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT’S relativity.”
Relativity is key to making sense of the swirl that is life raising four girls under five. I’ve been keeping track of some practical applications of Einstein’s pithy saying over the past few months…
- To a toddler, three hours at Chuck E Cheese feels like five minutes. To a parent, five minutes at Chuck E Cheese feels like three hours. Also, Chuck E Cheese may be the modern gateway to the Underworld. Or at least Satan’s living room.
- Maya was “the baby” and seemed very tiny until Ella arrived. Then she seemed huge. And a lot older. And I started wondering why she wasn’t potty trained and dressing herself and maybe getting her own apartment yet (she’s only 16 months, but still…).
- Ten years of waiting for the twins to arrive seemed like forever. The five years (this month) since we hear our first good news (“you’re pregnant!”) have gone by in a flash. One day I woke up and we were a family of six.
- Having two babies at once seemed like an insurmountable task. Now we sometimes talk about how simple things were back in the good old days, when we had only two kids to keep track of. Especially in the mall. Or at the park. Or in a restaurant. Or on a plane.
- I used to need at least eight hours of sleep to feel functional. Now if I get four or five uninterrupted, I get the sensation I’ve been Rip Van Winkled and may be waking up in a different century.
And maybe most of all, the smallest things are now the biggest victories. First smiles. First swims. First bites. First words. A lot of things that seemed mundane and ordinary are fresh and full of wonder. It’s like learning to live all over again – seeing the world with new eyes.
And that is relatively superb!
Share on Facebook37 Seconds With Ella @ 6 Weeks
Jon
Jul 25
|06:40
Ella is now focusing, smiling, and actively checking out the planet she’s been dropped into. And she does the tongue thing Janae used to. Here’s 37 seconds of cute baby for what ails you. Feel free to drop back by if life is ever out of perspective…
Four is More Than Three.
Jon
Jul 21
|21:34
Simple math, I know. But it’s the math we do these days…
I am often asked how different life is with four girls. Mostly I try for a witty comeback like “well, four is more than three.” To make amends for my snarkiness, I present these actual thoughts on the subject:
It’s not that big of a change around the house, provided we remember to keep the newborn out of the reach of Maya, the Long-Armed Toddler of Doom. She’s obsessed with the kid. Likes to crawl into the car seat with her and has added a fifth word to her vocabulary: Ella (she actually says “Erra”. I think she may be Chinese. Time will tell).
ONE
Going out is a bit more complicated. The diaper bag is burgeoning with two sizes of diapers and costume changes. There’s a lot of junk in the trunk (mostly two large all-terrain strollers – the kind they used on the Apollo moon landing I think). And Ella likes to toss her pacifier and screech like a wounded Predator about two minutes into any trip. This is like nails on a chalkboard to the twins. Something about a crying baby evokes a visceral response and overwhelming urge to nurture in the female types (“Mommy, can you help Ella to stop crying?”). Well, not Maya so much. She’s happy as a clam in the car, as long as we’re talking about the three minutes in every trip that Janae is not poking her or stealing her book. During the rest of the trip, we have two screechers. I am thankful for the Mickey Mouse portable DVD player strapped to the back of my headrest. I’m starting to really enjoy the Little Einsteins. Proof that my descent into madness has begun.
TWO
Vehicle options are narrowing rapidly. My Chevy Malibu, even fully crammed, can hold only 5/6 of the brood. The minivan is our only option for comprehensive troop transport. I’ve been looking at other possibilities, but I’m pretty much limited to a Humvee or one of those airport shuttle vans. Or a Dodge Sprinter (which is basically an airport shuttle van). This, of course, means I’m sticking with cheap American-made minivans. I have four college educations and four weddings to save up for, people.
THREE
We are noticing that the world seems to be unfairly prejudiced in favor of groups of four people. Vehicles, booths at restaurants, Family Packs of tickets to the Mariners, the list goes on. Go ahead – ask for a table for six with two high chairs at your favorite restaurant and see just how long it takes the host to work out THAT algebra. You could fly to Alaska, stalk, kill, dress, and cook your own moose in the time you’ll have on your hands in the lobby, desperately praying for the “your huge table is ready” pager to light up while attempting to keep the toddler from burning the place down. This is an ever so slight exaggeration, but this subtle discrimination (which I have dubbed “Fourism”) must be confronted and eradicated from our society. I’ll start the petition…
FOUR
Our home is teeming with life. Loud, messy, exuberant, joyful, tearful, beautiful, wonderful, precious life. We have gone from the desert of barrenness to overwhelming fruitfulness. God has transformed our home into living proof that He still hears, still answers, and still does miracles. We were very sure of this when we had only three girls. But He has left no doubt 
.
My gift to you for reading to the end? The first official pic of all four together. Enjoy!
Duct Tape Can’t Mend a Broken Heart. But It Can Keep a Diaper On.
Jon
Jun 23
|17:38
I was thinking today about how relatively simple most of the problems we solve for the girls are. Sure, there’s four of them, and that can be a bit overwhelming sometimes, especially if they all need something at once or the schedule gets even slightly out of whack. But our biggest issues are spills and boo-boos and forgetting to go potty. Having worked with teenagers for a decade or so, I have a slight inkling of what’s to come – hurt feelings, broken hearts, relationships, cliques, drama, drama, drama, and so forth. Note that I did not say I know everything that’s coming. I am quite sure I have no clue what a tunnel of fire four girls in high school at the same time – all under one roof, all with strong personalities – will be like. I shudder to think. So while today’s trials have their own weight, it’s important to keep perspective and enjoy these days when they are willing to be seen in public with Daddy and believe that he is strong and can fix anything. And to enjoy problems that can be solved with a little patience, strong disinfectant, and the handyman’s helper.
For example: today I had to be reminded that some toddlers need their diapers duct-taped at nap time.
Most parents reading that sentence will chuckle. Most of us have been there. I have been there. So really I have no excuses and deserve no sympathy. I should have seen the tell-tale signs: Maya was increasingly more undressed every time we got her out of bed. Yesterday morning, she greeted me in only a diaper, holding her onesie aloft triumphantly, flashing a big cheesy grin as if to say “Mission Accomplished!” Cute, right? Maybe that’s why I didn’t hear the 50s sci-fi robot in my subconscious trying to warn me: “Danger, Will Robinson! Danger!” But I was to distracted by her adorableness to see the logical conclusion of this pattern of behavior. Only too late did I recall that Arnold Girls love a challenge, and for Maya there was only one more disrobing mountain to climb.
Only the diaper was left.
You already know what happened. I will spare you the gory details. Let’s just say that she succeeded in getting the diaper off before she went to sleep. Sometime during that nap nature took it’s course. And apparently nature was angry. And Maya awoke. She is an artist at heart, it would seem, and something deep within led her to express her creativity with a display of finger-painting that has led me to nickname her “Poopcaso.”
A shower, and couple loads of laundry, a lot of disinfectant, one toy taken apart, and several rounds of Mom’s special stuffed animal cleansing method later, and we are almost back to normal. As I scrubbed and disassembled, a wave of deja vu swept over me, followed immediately by chagrin: I suddenly remembered I have done this dance before. With the twins. Both of them. We tried a lot of things to solve it. We finally had to go all “Red Green” on ‘em: they could not defeat duct tape.
So Maya now has improvised industrial strength diaper closures. If memory serves, the next step is climbing out of the crib. That should be a hoot with this one…
For now, I am thankful for small problems and a big family. And I’m taking some Ginko, cause I’ve really got to try to remember this stuff…
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